Week Ten of The Sober Summer Challenge
“Permit yourself to change your mind when something is no longer working for you.” - Nedra Glover Tawwab
Welcome to week ten, ladies. Between the full moon, the start of virgo season, getting ready for back-to-school, and the return of COVID… there’s a LOT happening, right?!
I have been sick with COVID the last few days. Ugh. It’s a great reminder of how much I take for granted my normal level of energy and health. I can’t wait to wake up and have the energy to go for a walk. Or just breathe through my nose. Just that would be amazing.
So do me a favor and make the most of this week. If you’re healthy, use your body. Fill your lungs with air. Say “yes!” to that invite from a friend to do something new and different. Soak it all in, friends. I’ll be living vicariously through you.
Tips and Strategies for Week Ten
Stop and notice the benefits you’ve experienced from skipping the booze. Nothing solidifies our motivation better than inventorying our wins. How has your sleep been? How’s your skin looking? Noticed any improvements in mental clarity? What about mood? Anxiety? Confidence? How about that extra cash in your pocket? Pause and savor the benefits of your choice to avoid alcohol this summer.
Know that good things are even happening outside of your awareness, like improvements in your immune system, gut health, and liver function; reduced inflammation; and reduced cancer risk! You go, girl.
Pause and appreciate your alcohol-free (AF) firsts. What alcohol-free firsts have you enjoyed this summer? A wedding? Family reunion? Concert? Vacation? Reflect on how it felt. How you feel now about your choice? Did it get easier as summer went on? What else would you like to try without alcohol? Perhaps, like me, you realized you actually prefer to be AF on vacation.
Add in more AF activities and friends. If you don’t want to go back to the way things used to be when this 90 day challenge is over, you’ll need a surplus of friends and activities that support your new AF lifestyle. Consider the following places/activities where you can hang without people without alcohol playing a central role - add some in this week!
Yoga/dance/exercise studios
Art classes
Hiking/running clubs
Sports groups
Book clubs
Volunteering
Political advocacy groups
Tweak your morning routines for fall. Children are going back to school, the long days are growing shorter, and your life may demand some changes to your daily routines. You may need to wake up earlier or cut a few steps from your morning routines in order to get everyone out the door in time for school. Or perhaps you have MORE time to yourself with kids out of the house and in school. Whatever your situation, consider what’s been working for you this summer and what aspects of your morning routine - such as meditation, yoga, journaling, morning pages, daily affirmations, etc. - you’d like to continue. Also consider what you are ready to let go of so that you aren’t a) rushing or b) treating these routines like dutiful obligations. The morning routine is meant to set your day off on the right foot, helping you feel connected to yourself and your most cherished values. It’s better to shorten your routine than abandon it entirely when life gets busy. So be flexible! And of course, if you have more time/structure in the fall, consider what you could add in. Perhaps now is the right time to begin the Artist’s Way or a daily yoga routine.
Recovery Activities for Week Ten
What have I been pretending to be? Reflect and journal on the role alcohol has played in allowing you to pretend to be someone else. Ask yourself what personal qualities alcohol provided you that you desired? For example, for me, alcohol allowed me to conceal my shyness, my discomfort in groups, and my overall calm demeanor. It allowed me to feel and act more wild, free, funny, and sexy than I ever believed I truly was. What did alcohol cover up for you? What did it create for you that you liked? Consider if you continue to need to pretend to be someone else? What do you wish to no longer pretend? What aspects of the real you are you ready to embrace? Have you been slowly rolling out the “real you” this summer? Or are you holding back? What are you waiting for?
What does sober curiosity mean to you? (Note: this question is decidedly for the sober curious, rather than sober sober folks. So skip this one if your goal is to never drink again). Reflect on what it means to be sober curious right now and in the future. For example, consider the following questions: Does being sober curious mean reducing alcohol? Does it mean paying attention to how alcohol makes you feel and how it impacts your life? Does it mean the goal is to eventually quit altogether? If you drink again when this 90 days is over, will it all feel like a waste? Will you feel guilty? What is the next step? How much is OK? What does being curious mean?
These questions are helpful to visit and revisit as you prepare to transition out of this 90 day challenge. Early on, when we are first trying to avoid alcohol, having a black/white mindset (e.g., alcohol is evil poison) is extremely helpful. Having rigid rules and a clear motivation for why we are giving alcohol up makes habit change more doable. But we are likely to feel guilty or ashamed if we end up drinking (even moderately) down the road if we haven’t clearly updated our beliefs about alcohol. We don’t want to behave in ways that run counter to our deepest beliefs and values, so now is a good time to examine those beliefs a bit more closely.
To me, being sober curious means staying open to let life teach us the lessons we need to learn. And accepting that these lessons and the bigger truths may change over time. Some of these lessons require us to grapple with updating fundamental beliefs we held about things. About ourselves. About what we put in our bodies. About how much it all matters. It’s a very personal process. Frankly, sobriety isn’t in any way easy but in many ways it’s the easier path. Just keeping alcohol in the no/never/evil box in our brains is easier than shifting it around, adjusting our beliefs as we go. So I don’t necessarily recommend this path. But I do want us to be thinking about this as we prepare to wrap up the summer and move into a new chapter that could allow for more flexibility and nuance around drinking.
Resources for Week Ten
How fun does this fall sober community from Love Sober look? Creativity, yoga, journaling… all the things. Looks like the meetings are Tuesday and Sunday 7pm GMT (which is 6 hours ahead for me in MST - not ideal but do-able).
Check out this list of activities and recipes for enjoying fall without booze. I especially like the outdoor movie night idea. Maybe a scary movie marathon with the kids and cozy blankets and hot cocoa.
I was looking up when football season starts (Sep. 5 FYI) and stumbled upon a bunch of sober superbowl events, including this one in New Orleans and this list of fun sober football party ideas. I love the idea of hosting a sober football party this fall to kickoff the new season - it’s only 2 weeks away!
Wishing you a fun, healthy week. Avoid COVID! xo.